Author: Kelly Jo McDonnell

Holiday Funk?

/ Kelly Jo McDonnell / Leave a comment

As the festive holiday season approaches, it can bring out many feelings and emotions.   Some are as toasty as hot chocolate and some are well….funky.

From the get-go of the holiday season, the race begins. (which is now, according to retailers, right before Halloween) Mothers feel the pressure to be at the top of their game. It began for me when I was packing away Halloween decorations with my 8-year-old son.  He was exuberantly bringing out Christmas decorations as I was trying to stuff the fall decorations in their boxes. In one crate he found all the Holiday CD’s, season scented candles, and THE Christmas book. No, not the Bible (although that should be what I’m talking about). It was my hardcover Martha Stewart coffee table book, appropriately labeled “Handmade Christmas.” It has a place of honor on my coffee table during the Holidays, you see, and it always adds the appropriate amount of extra pressure. It’s already probably over 10 years old, but its full color, it’s sleek, and it’s chock full of “ideas” on how to make the best wreath or swag, or crafting your own handmade scented gifts out of flavored sugars or making potpourri sachets.  My son reverently handed it to me. I took it, not quite ready for the responsibility that comes with this book every year.

Do my berry wreaths and orange clove scented project look like the samples in the book? Not by a long shot. But I keep trying. Trying for that beautiful, flawless picture in the book…and you know the ones I’m talking about.  Some years ago, when that book was brand new, it bothered this Mother that my picture didn’t match the book. Why did my gingerbread house look like something out of a Tim Burton film? Why was my hand made pinecone garland dropping cones on people’s heads as it hung over the front door? The pressure to make everything perfect for our families at the Holidays is an enormous one. By the time all the gifts are unwrapped, the tree needles start to slowly drop to the carpet, and that last Holiday CD is playing for the one-thousandth time, Mothers feel the burn – the burn out, that is.

Perhaps Moms need to sit back and slow down during the holiday season. There’s a news flash. Take a look at what we really have, and not stress out about the occasional imperfections of our holiday visions. It would make life more enjoyable, and there wouldn’t be such a post-Holiday crash at the end for both Mom and child. (or children) But cutting back on our perfect vision isn’t easy. We all have our ideal Holiday scene in our head. Don’t let go of that pretty visions altogether, but maybe be open to the vision changing as the season comes and goes. Flex-vision. There will always be circumstances outside of our control that pop up. That’s life. How we react to it is the key to our survival as Moms-who-do-it-all. If we sit down at the end of the Holiday journey and take a look at the vision that was created, we usually find that it doesn’t exactly match that Martha Stewart vision in our head. The Christmas snowman my son and I made with Grandpa and Grandma had deer antlers on his head. Son and Grandpa were thrilled. Mom and Grandma were mortified.. And that’s OK. Flex vision. It’s the key to making a pain-free transition from holiday season to post season

While Moms are busy trying to make the perfect Christmas, we bring our children right along with us for the ride. The aftermath of January can be brutal, and not just weather-wise.  After holding that perfect vision in our head for so long (and ultimately, the vision seeps into our children’s heads as well), when the Holidays end, it can feel a tad empty. Void. The whole family’s routine has been moved around to make way for this vision, now how do we get everything back on track? These tips can help. Some will be do-able for you, and some will not. Every family is different.

Four tips on gracefully returning to life POST Holidays

– Spending limit

There’s nothing more Scrooge than talking about money during the Holidays, but in this economy, it’s a necessity. Financial pressures can stress Moms out faster than burning the Christmas cookies. Take stock of how your checkbook looks around October or November, before the madness starts. Knowing your spending limits can help take the stress out of buying gifts all on credit. And that credit card will be leering at you in January as you pay finance charges on those perfect gifts. After a divorce and becoming a single Mom some years ago, I had to eat some humble pie, and opt for more economical gifts for my family. But it taught me to shop smarter, appreciate what I had, and realize that smaller gifts are just as good. And more importantly, it taught my son a respect for money. You respect it more if it’s not there as often. Tell your kids to be realistic, and make sure they realize some sort of gratitude for it all. Heck, I told my son, even Santa has to operate on limited funds…look how long his list is. Which was followed with his question, “how much does Santa make”?  Moving on….

–       The return to School

Our children have been enjoying a holiday break from school, and are less than enthusiastic to return to the classroom. Holidays can disrupt homework and class assignments. Luckily the teachers, who are usually Mom and Dads themselves, take note of the craziness of the holidays and don’t load the kids with too much homework. But don’t take a complete break, even though it’s tempting. If there is an assignment, attempt to complete it at the beginning of the vacation holiday, and then circle back to it at the end to review. Board games with family and cousins can also be a great way to keep the brain cells sharp during the holidays, and they won’t even know their learning! Read Holiday books during Christmas, but then return to their favorites come January-they’ll be excited to return to some normally and routine, too, even though they don’t really understand why.  Although my son is sad to see Peef the Christmas Bear books be packed away, he’s excited to pick up where we left off with Diary of a Wimpy Kid, or the next Harry Potter book.

–       Back to Sleep!

This one anchors all the rest. And we as Moms know it. Nothing makes Moms feel scroogier than a tired, whiny child. And while sleeping is the simplest, most natural thing our children can do, around Christmas time it can be down right impossible.

Regaining our children’s sleep schedule, as well as our own, will make post-holiday living much easier. And to help regain the control, we must attempt to do this during the season. Keeping a little slice of routine into your children’s schedule, even a sliver, will help with getting them back on schedule come school time. My second grader, on a school night, is in bed by 7:30 p.m. During the Holiday season, I attempt bedtime procedures around 8:00. (it does help if cousins are also on the same routine, or this one can bet sticky) If bedtime is pushed closer to 9:00 or 9:30 p.m. it’s not the end of world. Just try to keep the bedtime routine the same (bath, books) during the break. This helps with their familiarity of  bedtime, even if your at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  The transitions back to the 7:30 p.m. bedtime won’t be so tricky come January. Even though it’s difficult, this Mom also tried to hit the hay halfway early. Just because the kids are going to bed later, doesn’t mean they sleep in late. Especially during this season. So try to turn in earlier if you can, or make sure there’s strong coffee made in the morning.

–       Diet/Exercise?

Get real, right? The holidays are all about taking a break from the gym and savoring family time (as well as those holiday goodies). Kids, too. If there’s no down time to squeeze in a little work out, don’t sweat it. Frolicking with your kids in the snow, or building a snowman, pulling them on their sleds, works for a cardio work out, too. Moms are usually going 100 miles an hour anyway during the Holidays, so bottle up a little of that Martha Stewart energy and look at it as “you” time…with your kids. They naturally have that energy bottled up, and amazingly, never seem to run out. Take a page out of their book, and move along with them. Get some fresh air. Those cutout, frosted cookies taste so much better after coming inside from the cold! Reminder: try to slip in some healthy snacks in between all those goodies…for both Mom and child. It will help with that bottle of energy- it’s tough to get my son to eat some orange or peach slices when he’d rather grab some chex mix. But he’ll do it. And so will I. Santa is watching.

Be flex with all the tips above. Do what you can, when you can….and don’t let Santa catch you berating yourself for falling short. Regaining even a little routine during the busy holiday season will help everyone transition into the New Year.

And by the way, that horned snowman has a place of honor in my son’s memory. He didn’t match the fancy snowman example in my Martha Stewart book, but he was just as good if not better. Go figure.

Outdoor School?

/ Kelly Jo McDonnell / Leave a comment

I came across this teacher when we were shooting a TV feature on “Minnesota Bound”….and I was intrigued with his “Minnesota Outdoor Connections” class, in the Centennial School District. While some might wonder why students may need to know “outdoor” things….I think it’s some of the most important life lessons they’ll ever learn. Granted, I’m a daughter of a outdoorsman, some might say “super” outdoorman – so I might be a tad biased. I grew up around camping, fishing, hunting, and even trapping. And while it’s not the most “girly girl” thing to know, it came in handy later in life. (much more than that dreaded Algebra class) I wrote this up freelance for the Quad Press – hope you enjoy it!

It’s not everyday that a student can listen to a teacher tell a story about hunting walruses in the Arctic Circle….from first hand experience.

But the Centennial Senior students who are in Mr. Jake Doth’s “Minnesota Outdoor Connections” class, get just that. And more.

“It’s not me at all,” laughed Doth, “what kid doesn’t want to go in the woods, and learn how to make fire…make a survival bow out of stuff they can find in the woods and their shoelace”.

But there’s no mistaking, Mr. Doth, is a favorite among Centennial students in the Minnesota Outdoor Connections class. And when one walks into his classroom, it isn’t hard to guess why. The walls are covered with pictures, pelts, and skulls. Numerous fish tanks bubble in the corners of the classroom. A dozen fishing rods sit in the opposite corner. While the class is only under its second year under Doth, it has been at Centennial for many years. “It was more of a technology class,” explained Doth, “the kids would go into the wood shop and build canoe paddles..make something you can use outdoors”. Doth said the teacher who taught the classes in those years was a beloved teacher at Centennial, and did a good job with the curriculum. However Doth wanted to take the class in a more “science” direction. “The program is really neat,” he said excitedly, students do receive a science credit for taking the course”. He added that when he moved to the Centennial school district three years ago, the school wanted him to take over the program, and make it senior only. Doth said he was hesitant at first, as he was used to teaching younger students, but the school talked him into it.

He said that Centennial has been a tremendous school, and that the parents and students have been so supportive. He said the biggest challenge was to make the class a legitimate science course, and turning it from a tech class to a 50 minute lecture class. He adds that he sometimes has to slow the kids down and talk about the science of it, and explain the reality of the program. “I want to make it as academic as possible…kids are going to walk away with a great base for the outdoors and for college next year”.

Doth explained he designed the class and it’s themes, basing it in biology. He said the class talks a great deal about earth science physics, and chemistry. He also touches on subjects such as outdoor survival, hunting, search and rescue, orienteering, as well as fire starting and taking field trips to Wargo Nature Center.

“Last year was the pilot year, we had six sections of kids,” he said, “word must have gotten out, we have nine sections and 192 to 200 kids that signed up to take it. I’m the only teacher that teaches it. I kind of tailor it to my own specific expertise if you will”.

Doth’s specific expertise is the area is quite a story in itself. While he was born and raised in Minnesota, and attended Roseville High School, once he finished his master’s degree in LaCrosse, Wisconsin, he was looking for an adventure. “I jumped in my truck and drove to Alaska,” he laughed, “Scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I was a 23 year old”. Doth always had a natural connection to the outdoors, being an avid fisherman. He was a trout guide through college to earn extra money. Doth remembered getting a teaching job in Alaksa, but the timing was a tad off. “I did have a teaching job, but I didn’t get paid until the end of September, so I had a whole month to live off of $12 worthy of gas money”. He said that the principle learned he had been sleeping outside and trying to keep his one dress shirt hanging up in a pup tent. He said she opened up her home for him, and that it was a series of blessings from people in Alaska.

He also became a fishing and hunting guide in the Kenai Peninsula area, and met up with some others who were “in the game” also. He said they had airplanes, which in Alaska, is like owning a truck. “They said ‘do you really want to learn? Come with us, we’ll show you the way’. They were phenomenal fisherman and tremendous hunters and they took me under their wing”. Doth said that for the next two years he was a “trout bum”, and went hiking, fishing, and explored anywhere within 200 miles of where he lived.

But, as in many school districts, the money ran out and Doth found himself without a job. “Boss said we’d love to keep you, but you’re the low man on the totem pole”. He said he looked at it as a new journey of life. And the journey led him to an Eskimo village on the Bering Sea who was looking for a teacher for grades 3 through 12. “There’s no roads in or out. I flew to the Arctic Circle, and realized I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. All the wilderness knowledge….really kind of flew out the window. When I was faced with the arctic tundra and the Bering Sea…you turn your back on the Bering sea, you don’t come home”. Although Doth said it was a hard life, they were truly the greatest life lessons he could have ever had. “It was a tough life,” he admitted, “if you wanted food, you hunted it”. He recalled life on the coast, where life revolved around hunting the sea mammals for food – walruses and whales and seals. One day, when they were in class, there was word that whales were in front of the village. “The whole school shut down,” he laughed, “I just looked at my kids and said head home!” He aid it was there where he learned that ther was more to outdoor survival and living off the land that no class or magazine ever would teach him. Doth taught and lived in the tough little village for five years, and in the summers would return to Kenai to resume his fishing guide job in the summers.

Up until he met an Alaskan named Jessica. “She knocked my socks off,” he said, “she’s part Eskimo, part Pilipino. We fell in love, but I still had to go to the village…I couldn’t turn my back on those people”. So, he said, his future wife moved to the village with him. He said they lived there for another year, got engaged, and decided it was time for a move. “I guess the whale hunter, risk your life, go catch king crab for dinner…kind of went to sleep inside me”, he remembered. With the help from my wife, bless her soul, and my family”. He said it was time to come home.

He said it was time to touch base with his family in Minnesota, and let them meet his wife for the first time. He said they moved back, settled in, and now have a 16-month year old baby boy named Mason.

While he and his family have settled in, Doth explains that the Minnesota Outdoor Connection class has been his link back to Alaska in many ways. “I think of Alaska every day. I love t here in Minnesota. Outdoor connection has saved me. When you live your life for 7 or 8 years, where literally, 250 days out of the year you’ve spent in the outdoors doing something. Connecting in the outdoors that way. And then you move to the land of 10 millions vehicles…everything moves so fast. People drive fast, and they eat and talk fast. Relax fast. It was difficult to say the least for both my wife and I”. But when he started the program, he said it was like re-visiting Alaska. Talking about his experiences with the kids, and talking outdoors survival – hypothermia, hunting whales and walruses. He said that even though he was born and raised here, a part of him is always in Alaska. “It’s never gone”, he said.

Like any exceptional teacher, Doth is quick to credit the students in his classroom. “The biggest reward has certainly been the kids, they truly make the program what it is. They make it so enjoyable for me as a teacher. The energy in the room makes it enjoyable…whether they like to hunt or not…they end up having fun and talking about the Minnesota outdoors”.

Doth said, after all, that’s what it’s all about – to get more kids outside and feeling connected to the outdoors. He recalls asking one group of students who had been to the Boundary Waters, and no one had raised their hand. “I thought Wow!”, said Doth, who said he tries to explain to the kids that you really haven’t lived until you have slept under a tree. Or set up a tent in the driving wind and rain. “They just need exposure,” he said passionately, “get away from the concrete jungle…and once you spark that passion. It’s game over”.